Forgiveness
What is forgiveness?
This question guided our discussion last night during Community Church’s “Explore the Bible” event. We found coming up with a simple definition for forgiveness to be challenging. So, we explored a short story (or parable) from Matthew 18:21-35 where Jesus taught about forgiveness featuring a man with huge financial debt and an unforgiving attitude.
Another great time of discussion at our recent Explore the Bible event.
In this parable a king realizes his servant owed him millions of dollars. So, the king ordered the man and his family sold into slavery to repay the debt.
As the king spoke, the servant fell down and begged for more time. “Please, be patient with me,” said the servant, “and I will repay it all” (Matthew 18:26). The king pitied the man. He realized repaying this debt would take more than a lifetime. So instead of giving him more time as the servant asked, the king forgave the great debt completely.
As the “forgiven” servant left the king, he found a someone who ironically owed him a few thousand dollars. Instead of following the kings example of forgiveness, the servant aggressively demanded repayment.
When word reached the king about the forgiven servant’s actions, he became angry and said, “You evil servant! I forgave you that tremendous debt because you pleaded with me. Shouldn’t you have mercy on your fellow servant, just as I had mercy on you?” (Matthew 18:32-33). Then the king punished the man until he could repay his huge debt.
Jesus’ parable taught us that forgiveness is an act of grace. It’s saying, “I know you’ve wronged me, but I do not hold this debt against you. I forgive you, and will treat you as if the debt you owe me is paid in full.”
Jesus’ parable teaches that forgiveness is a choice, both for the indebted as well as for the debtor. Our response toward forgiveness has huge implications for our relationships and reveals the condition of our heart.
For example, withholding forgiveness when you’ve been hurt destroys the relationship. It creates ongoing bitterness anger in our hearts. That anger and bitterness prevents us from emotionally processing our hurt and beginning the process of healing. Ultimately, withholding forgiveness hurts us.
Similarly, rejecting someone’s offer of forgiveness causes deep shame and regret. Rejecting forgiveness makes us more likely to repeat the same mistakes and hurt we caused in the past. Therefore, choosing forgiveness is necessary for both the debtor and the indebted.
At the end of this parable, Jesus strikingly said, “That’s what my heavenly Father will do to you if you refuse to forgive your brothers and sisters from your heart.” Like the king in the story, God offers us forgiveness from our sin, or our spiritual debt owed to God because of the pain and hurt we’ve caused to ourselves and others.
If we’re honest with ourselves, we’ve all caused and experienced hurt. We all hold bitterness and anger in our hearts. But forgiveness is not impossible.
Some time after Jesus taught this parable, he offered to pay the debt we owed. He saw all the pain, hurt, suffering, and debt we’ve caused and like the king said, ‘This debt is too much for you to repay.’ So he took the debt we owed and suffered in our place by dying on a cross. Three days later he rose from the grave, clearing all our debt, all our pain, and all our shame. Jesus offers us true forgiveness.
Like a flower growing out of concrete forgiveness softens and creates beauty in our hard hearts.
Like the servant in the story, we choose how we respond. Will we accept God’s tremendous offer of forgiveness through Jesus and begin the healing process? Or will we reject his offer of forgiveness and continue live in bitterness and hurt.
Offering and receiving forgiveness can be a challenging process, but it becomes a bit easier when we know we are not alone. So we invite you to join us as we grow into a worshiping community that practices forgiveness. You can just hang out with us at our upcoming Picnic in Mauerpark or join us as next Tuesday we learn more of Jesus’ teaching at our next Explore the Bible event.
